I have a friend that is currently working on a volunteer project. She is putting in many, many hours as a volunteer to help our former high school celebrate its 100-year anniversary. The small group of volunteers producing this event have done a spectacular job and should be applauded.

In a short time frame, they have reached out and found many grads and engaged us in the celebrations. They are producing a video that showcases some grads doing interesting things in the world. They somehow got funding from a former student, now a successful businessperson, to pay for ads in a large daily newspaper to promote the anniversary celebrations. There are active Facebook events, which include a pub night, a gala and many other activities.

The job they have done is incredible. And yet – each time they announce that they have done something, there are the critics. Who – just for the record – don’t seem to be doing much except watching Facebook and criticizing what these people are doing.

It got me to thinking about criticism and the difference between it being constructive and of value, and when it is of no value – except maybe for making the person giving it feel superior. Constructive criticism has great value. It’s about providing relevant and timely input. It is about making something better. It’s about improving and growing. It’s a crucial component of professional and personal development.

At AHA, we always debrief after a project, initiative or event to look at what we can do better or differently. We look at what worked, and what could be improved – relative to the situation. I can tell you, for as tough as all of us at AHA can be – we are very conscious of how we provide criticism, when that happens and why it happens. We always make sure that we put any criticism into context before the feedback starts.

Random criticism about what someone would have done if they were doing it is of no value to anyone except maybe the ego of the person criticizing. Used as the opportunity to tell someone what you don’t like or what you would have done (which, you didn’t do!) isn’t constructive criticism, it’s just bitching and complaining.

At AHA, our approach is that if you are going to provide feedback that is critical of someone’s work or actions, you need to fully understand the context. For example, what was the deadline, what was the budget, what was the expectation, what was the objective, what were the influencing factors that were out of our control…the list goes on and on.  And, it must include the positives – what went right, what was a success, what can be built on.

Constructive criticism makes everyone involved feel positive about what could be improved. It is delivered in a respectful, considerate manner and it acknowledges not just the context and situation, but the work that was done.

I have to say that I also think that no one should be allowed to randomly criticize volunteers like my friend, who are doing their absolute best, unless the critic is willing to step up and actually participate and get involved. Until you actually do something, you have no idea how hard it is to achieve it.

Every great writer I have worked with has realized the value of a great editor. Creating interesting, informative, relevant and engaging content takes both a writer and an editor. It’s a little bit like peanut butter cups… On their own, chocolate and peanut butter are really good; together – it’s a whole different level of delicious. The same goes for those making their living with words. Behind every great writer, there usually is a great editor.

This blog post is of incredible value for anyone who writes or edits. It’s so good that I will leave you to it. Nothing I could say would improve this piece.

I have an entire rant about how valuable journalists are to a free and just society and how I believe communicators and journalists actually work in partnership (we don’t always have to agree or even like each other, but we do have work together). The actions of this communicator go against everything I believe you should do in media relations. But that’s not what I am going to talk about today. Today, inspired by this video, I want to go back to some common courtesies of communication. The basics.

I am often amazed (and appalled) at the lack of courtesy and common decency that I see in the world. Seemingly small things like please and thank you. Holding a door so that the person behind you doesn’t get it slammed on them. Responding to an email or phone call in a timely fashion. Showing up on time to meetings and appointments… the list goes on.

In the business world, there are a few things that I think are important when it comes to the basic tenets of good communication. Some of these are basic manners like those your mother taught you, some are plain old common sense, and others are about doing the right thing even when it’s inconvenient.

Be Respectful

View the people around you as colleagues or equals – not underlings.

I have had the opportunity to work with some of the best of the best in journalism and as a communicator. The people who have accomplished the most (and I have to say are the happiest) are the ones who build strong relationships with those around them – not just with those in more senior positions who can help.

In this video, it looks like the communications person thinks the media are not her equals – her lack of respect for them is obvious. If she had seen them as colleagues* and had been respectful of their perspective in this situation, this could have turned out quite differently.

*Don’t get me wrong here; I realize that some relationships with journalists won’t be easy. When we pitch media on behalf of clients, we view the information through the lens of a journalist. We poke holes in the news value, we criticize and critique the information we want to share, and we know it has to meet a certain standard before a journalist is going to be interested in what we have to say. I believe that our society needs journalists. They make my job tougher, but they make me a better communicator. And I believe that when communicators do their job well, some journalists see us a resource – and as a colleague.

Be Truthful

I realize that in the business world, sometimes this can feel challenging. Being truthful doesn’t mean you have to tell all – there are parts of your workday that are confidential and need to be kept that way. If you can’t talk about something, explain that you can’t talk about it at this point because of XYZ. If you made a mistake, come clean. Explain what happened, why it happened and how it will never happen again. I would also hope you would show some concern, compassion and care about what happened. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s when you try to lie your way out of them, or don’t seem to care about the people affected, that it becomes a problem.

Be Considerate

There are little things you do all day long that send out a much bigger message than you realize.

Respond to Emails

When you get an email from a colleague, a client, your agency or even your family – what do you do? Ignore it? Put it aside to answer later? Delete it? Unless you are trying to discourage Cousin Edith from sending you another funny cat video, respond to your emails within 24 hours. Even if that response is just – “I received this and I will get back to you by Friday.” Don’t leave people wondering if you got the email or if you are ignoring them.

Pick Up the Phone

Don’t just email – pick up the phone and talk to people. Emailing, texting and other online communications are great. Don’t forget to call them or, even better, go and see them in person. Nothing replaces in-person contact.

Respect Other People’s Deadlines and Timelines

You aren’t the only person in the world who is under deadline pressure. If you promise something to someone and you can’t meet the deadline, let them know.

Be On Time

Don’t keep people waiting. That sends a message that you think their time isn’t as valuable as yours. Show up on time.

Be Present

If you are meeting with someone, don’t keep checking your smartphone for emails or texts – unless you have an issue or crisis happening. If that’s the case, apologize and explain you have an issue or crisis.

Say please and thank you.
It seems simple, but acknowledging the efforts of others in such a simple way is a big thing.

And Don’t…

Please, please – don’t chew gum like the person in the video. I don’t need to see the gum in your mouth while you are talking.

I would love to hear your ideas of what “little things” make a big impact.

We have an Internet stick that I use when I commute, when I travel, and even if we are out and about on the Sunshine Coast and I might need to do something for a client. My computer and Internet stick are my constant companions. I have spent most of my life travelling for work or for pleasure; and when you run your own agency and are a bit of a control freak like me – when you travel for pleasure, you are often working too.

A few months ago, we realized that our Internet stick was pretty old. It was big and cumbersome and, well, not very pretty. I called it the “Monster” (and not always with affection). The newer model looked sleek and efficient and high tech. It was impressive looking. It was smaller, thinner and prettier. We were asked to upgrade by our service provider. So we upgraded. What a mistake. I miss my big old Monster stick so much.

My Monster stick was solid and reliable. It worked. And I knew I could rely on it. In cold weather and in hot weather – I even spilled coffee on it once and it just kept working. This new one is flimsy. We are on our third stick in a matter of months and I haven’t even spilled anything on it yet! It has factory defects and the design of it is challenging – the main piece snaps off easily if you aren’t careful. It is just a poor piece of equipment. I often cannot get Internet…

The lesson I learned that I think translates well for communicators (and just about anyone) – don’t give up on something that is working now and be lured in by the newest fad, trend or technology without doing your research and understanding what you are giving up relevant to what you are getting. Sure, my new piece looks good – but it doesn’t deliver the reliability of the Monster. In this case, the reliability factor is far more important to me than the style and look of the piece.

When reviewing your communications tools, tactics and technologies and if you decide it is time to change, make sure you are changing for the right reasons and know what you will gain and what you will give up. For example, if you think you might want to stop printing an annual brochure and switch to using Twitter to promote your products, services or organization as a whole, there are some questions to ask yourself before you make that leap. Some of them include:

• What benefits do we currently get from this brochure?
• What benefits would I get from Twitter?
• What am I willing to give up to get these new benefits?
• Do I know for certain that what is being promised is accurate?

And go deep. Don’t make assumptions about what the benefits are – ask your stakeholder group(s) what they think, research what other similar organizations are doing, and identify best and worst practices. Make an informed decision.

Change, even small, always has an element of risk. Make sure you know the risk and do everything you can to mitigate it. The one action I should have done before I switched – Googled: “problem with Bell Internet stick.” That would have influenced my decision.

So for any of you reading this that recognize yourself in the paragraph above—STOP CALLING! (I doubt this will do any good. It’s clear after about seven seconds of a conversation that they not only don’t read the blog, but aren’t clear about what we do here at AHA.)

I answered the phone the other day (everyone at AHA answers the phone, it’s how we roll) and on the other end was someone trying to sell me a listing for AHA in some online database that targets lawyers. We don’t get business from lists; it just doesn’t work that way for us. We build relationships, we showcase our expertise, and we are fortunate to receive referrals from colleagues, clients and even journalists. However, I happened to be in between tasks and had just poured a tea for myself, so I had a minute to “fully experience” this call.

She had a pitch, but it didn’t feel authentic. She kept telling me that she had a “free listing”—but the more I probed, the more I realized that there was some trickery to her approach. She sounded deceitful, which was a red flag, and she wouldn’t answer any of my questions with a direct answer.

Below is an excerpt of our conversation:
AHA: “So, this listing is absolutely free and there won’t be any costs at any point down the line?”
Telemarketer: “Let me tell you a bit about the listing, which would put you in front of thousands of lawyers…”
AHA: “So, to go back to my question: Is there any cost at any time for this listing?”
Telemarketer: “This (mumble, mumble) has no cost; it is a basic listing…”
AHA: “I am sorry I didn’t hear the first part of what you said. Is there any kind of a cost attached to this listing, now or at a later date?”
Telemarketer: “This listing is free during the evaluation phase of 30 days…”
AHA: “So there is a cost.”
Telemarketer: “No, it’s free during the evaluation phrase. Your name will be in front of thousands of lawyers who really need PR.”
AHA: “First off, there is a cost. Secondly, how do you know that these lawyers need PR?”
Telemarketer: “Let me ask you something. Are you or are you not the decision maker there?”

That’s when I realized that I was engaging her and wasting my time (and hers) and politely ended the conversation with: “Yes, I am the decision maker and my decision is to demand that you remove me from your calling list. Thank you.” And I hung up.

It felt like she was trying to con me. I got off the phone and I kind of wanted to take a shower. That interaction felt gross; it was deceitful, predatory and without ethics. Once I let go of my frustration and indignation over this ridiculous call, I realized that there were lessons to be learned from it.

Below are the three lessons a bad telemarketer taught me about communications.

Be Truthful

If there is an issue, a challenge or a cost involved, be upfront about it. Don’t misrepresent and don’t fib; if you do, you are going to be found out. People aren’t stupid, they can tell when someone is trying to pull something over on them and there are a lot of people out there that will check the facts you give them and bust you if you are wrong.

We pitch media and bloggers and reach out on social media networking sites all the time. It is our job to position stories and to highlight benefits, but it is done in an authentic way.

Be Respectful

When the telemarketer asked me: “Are you or are you not the decision maker there?” it was appalling to me. There are a lot of people who are influencers that may not be the final decision maker. Keep in mind that you don’t know the power or influence that a person may wield. Respect everyone.

I realize that time is money and that many sales books say to ask if that person has the authority to make the decision to buy, but it’s more complex than that. If you don’t acknowledge and respect the people on the team, you won’t get anywhere near the decision maker.

Be Authentic

I know that the telemarketer was just doing her job and she had a pre-written script that she was meant to follow. But from a communications perspective, it screams of being inauthentic. I am not saying that you shouldn’t have key points if you are calling media to pitch them or are being interviewed—references and resources are a good thing. But if you are focused on delivering a script like the telemarketer, you don’t really hear the objections or the opportunities; you are too busy trying to stay on script.

Do you have any communications lessons you have learned from bad telemarketers?

Now, I am not sure I would put Della up against Jeopardy genius Ken Jennings—that’s just a different kind of smart (and one that I believe has more to do with memory than anything else). But I have seen Della in a wide range of scenarios—from dealing with an organization facing a huge crisis to sipping a cold beverage at an outdoor patio on a hot summer day—and along with her strategic, steel trap of a mind… There is something else, something special and rare and well, simple, that is the foundation of her style of genius (and her success). She is a relationship builder.

Della recently launched a blog – Della’s Deck. It’s about effective, powerful and authentic communication. And it provides straightforward advice that can be put into action immediately. It is valuable to me from a professional communications perspective, and I get value from it in my personal life. This week, Della wrote about the power of authentic relationships. She also shared a list of questions that you should/could know about the people in your life… I was amazed at how many of them I couldn’t answer about people—clients and friends—who I would say I have particularly close or positive relationships with. I am going to change that.

Authentic relationships are at the heart of communication. And that doesn’t mean that, as a communicator, you need to meet every single person on your media distribution list—although you should know who they are, what they cover for their media outlet or blog, and understand why what you are sending them is of interest to them. That is a relationship. It might be a few steps removed from the kind of relationship where you can call a journalist and ask them to meet you for a coffee, but it is still a respectful relationship.

At AHA, we often have people call us out of the blue and tell us why we should hire them. No relationship building by commenting on this blog or chatting with us on Facebook or Twitter. Their calls are based on what we should know about them. I often wonder how much they know about us—if anything.

We recently had someone become quite persistent about calling to tell us why we should hire the company she works for to produce video for our clients. We asked her if she realized that we have a video crew here at AHA. She hesitated and then said: “But we’re better.”

Really?

Firstly, I don’t think she even checked our site. Secondly, our crew produces brand journalism videos. Had she looked at our site and paid attention to who we really are, she might have said: “Yes, I see you do brand journalism videos. I really liked the one that you did for Vancouver Community College’s Year of Science event. We actually produce a more corporate (or documentary or VH1-like) style. Perhaps we could chat and see if we can be of value to you, for those times when you need a different video style.” That might have gotten my attention. Opportunity lost because she didn’t even try to start an authentic, mutually beneficial relationship with us.

Relationships matter.

It was refreshing to read this article on pitching on Ragan.com. New York Times Tech Journalist David Pogue talks about the pitches that grabbed his attention. (Just for the record, we are big fans of Pogue!) It’s worth a read. And if you think the information provided by a tech journalist isn’t relevant to your organization and what you want to pitch – you’re dead wrong. This approach translates to almost any proactive media pitch for any industry. It’s about being relevant, being timely, understanding what the journalist or blogger is interested in, and catching their attention in a way that works for that particular blogger or journalist.

Great media and blogger relations takes time. Don’t slap together a news release and shotgun it out to everyone. It doesn’t work that way anymore!